Funny automotive story, by Brandon

So, I'm not the brightest crayon in the box when it comes to automotive technology. That's because growing up, my dad, who is a car genius, did everything on the family cars. I could barely tell you the difference between a gas cap and dip stick.

So, as you could imagine, after just having taken the plunge with the new Suburban, when I started hearing a whining noise on Tuesday when I left work, I was experiencing some sort of nervous diarrhea!

Every time I accelerated, it would make the noise, but would stop upon deceleration or coasting. I didn't want to be stranded in Lacey, so I figured if I could hit the highway and be on cruise control, I might be fine. The noise was pretty bad until I got up to 60, and then 70 (when the limit changed). So bad that while I was on the phone with my good friend Ed, he could hear it on his end.

What did it sound like? Well, it was something in between a mule and the noise Jim Carrey makes on Dumb & Dumber ("Wanna hear the most annoying noise in the world?"). It sounded like it was coming through my speakers, though my radio was turned completely off. Truly, it was like aliens had overtaken my car.

Sure enough, while cruising, it was fine. I made it home. I was thankful for that.

On the internet, I was reading possible issues, by Googling things like "honda accord whining" and "honda whining acceleration." The number of responses I found were like the sands in the sea: cool air intake, transmission fluid, power steering fluid, wheel bearing, improperly tightened belts, water pump... the list goes on and on. But I didn't really trust any of it since all these guys are your typical "resident tech" types.

When my father-in-law came over, I asked him to take a ride with me and see what he thought. We drove all over and had a problem hearing anything. And since it's impossible to fix what you can't identify as the problem, I was getting a little frustrated. I was about to give up and head home and... **WHINE** There it was! And this time, it was while I was slowing down! So I stopped the car right in the middle of the 50 mph road, since nobody was behind me and it continued. My father-in-law was about to get out when about 300 yards behind me, a car started approaching, so I started again and hit a side road. Of course, nothing! We drove around a little more and when I was about to give up, it hit again, and luckily, it was in a small parking lot. It was loud. Lloyd thought it was coming from the back. He got out. He listened at the side of the car as he moved toward the back. He asked me to pop the trunk. I did. And the noise - STOPPED AGAIN!

Baffled, Lloyd got back in and asked if he was dreaming or if it really stopped right when he opened the trunk. And was it really coming from the back? I told him I thought it might be.

We got going again and finally heard it. We were on a 35 mph road with nobody behind me. I quickly slowed down, popping the trunk and the same time I was stopping. Lloyd, risking life and limb, jumped out when I was almost stopped, and ran to the back. He figured out the problem.

So, at this point, to explain the issue, I think it prudent to give some background. The Friday before all this went down, I was in charge of a church activity. It was a BBQ with games and fun stuff (including a wiffleball home run derby). I had this megaphone. Well, apparently, the megaphone button was turned on and it was in the back of my car. And I think when certain frequencies were reached by certain car components, maybe in conjunction with some of the different towers around, there was a high-pitched squealing that was emitted from this stupid electronic megaphone.

I was thankful it wasn't major car issues; embarrassed it was something so stupid; and glad I would have a funny story to tell.