Love

(Warning: no pictures included. Feel free to turn back now!)

Do you ever have an awakening moment? Like you're just going along and suddenly you remember something or feel something out of the blue? I did this morning. We just got back from a camping trip in southern Oregon. It was a lot of fun, but it wasn't until we were all working to get things put away and cleaned up this morning that I really felt a closeness as a family. The boys were all out helping clean up the truck my parents let us borrow so we could go and they were getting along so nicely. I was inside and tuned into the Mormon Tabernacle Choir channel on Pandora. The first song that came on was about our Father's love and I was just overwhelmed.

A lot of pretty lousy things have happened since January. First my brother and all that was involved there, then my best friend moving, dealing with mandatory unpaid work days to try to make up for the gigantic state budget deficit, and my van exploding. I decided today that if I really wanted to, I could be very depressed right now. Just one of those events might have pushed me over the edge. Not to mention the pretty lousy weather we're having this year. In years past, having no sunshine for so long would really knock me out, but not this year. This year Someone Else is pulling me along. Someone Else is lifting me above the fog. Someone Else is blessing me with love I'll never understand.

How could Father love me so much? I've made some stupid choices, done some ridiculous things. Why would He still have hope for me?

I can only understand minutely from being a parent myself. I'll love them until they don't let me love them anymore. And I'll still love them. Just like He'll always love me.

Crazy!

Here's some rambling for you. I hope it makes sense, because I'm pretty tired.

Wednesday morning I was thinking in the shower (best place to think) that pretty soon we were going to need to figure out how to add a car payment into the budget. Who knows why I start thinking about crazy things like that.

Ok, I know. Small promptings. Maybe you don't believe me, but I get forewarnings. I need them. Too many surprises make for a crazy Sarah. Now here's why. On our way home from the library Thursday I pulled off the freeway and stopped at the light when my van started shaking like you wouldn't believe. I was scared. Terrified. Petrified. You get the picture? All out panic. Good thing it was only about a mile to my house! I got it to the driveway and did what any good thinking woman does. I called my dad.

HELP!!

We tried to figure out what was wrong over the phone with my best description. We were hoping for a stuck thermometer. That would have been best case scenario. I took the van to the church (4 miles up the road) for a presidency meeting that night and it shot up into hot, hot, overheating, hot as soon as I pulled onto the state highway. I made it to church, and barely home. It stalled on the way home. Yikes!

Brandon took it to a repair shop just a little further down the road from the church and it took him an hour and a half to get there. Five miles. One and a half hours. That's good time, right? Oh, well, he did sit on the side of the road 500 feet from the shop for half and hour waiting for good old dad to help get the van the rest of the way...

So, a quick diagnosis later reveals a blown head gasket. That's engine, folks. He said he could fix it for $3000. Uh, let's think. '98 Chevy worth maybe $2000. Sure! Let's pour $3k into it! Why not?

The lowest quote we got was $1000, and that's from my father-in-law who wouldn't charge us for labor. Plus we needed new tires, plus a tune up. That math just doesn't work in my head.

So, the hunt for a new vehicle we can afford begins! Going from not having a car payment to having to add one in is not fun! Who wants to do that? But we're looking.

Honestly, we're looking for one of these:

Does that make me overly Mormon? No comments, Paige. We're tall folks! We need a comparatively sized vehicle. What do you want from me?!?

I talked a guy down on one today. It was kind of fun. My husband was cracking up. We'll see what happens. Maybe I'll be posting about my new car soon. Hopefully sooner than later. I can't stand shopping and car shopping is about a thousand times worse. Wouldn't it be nice if we could custom order exactly what we want it our exact price range? Oh, the dreams.

Girl fix

This is my neice. Isn't she cute? I stole a pic from her mom's blog... thanks!

She is such a fun cutie pie! I get to watch her about three times a month for a few hours in the morning and it is such a pleasure. She and Hyrum get along so well, and while school was in I had to be careful not to mention she was coming over because Sterling wanted to stay home to play with her. She loves "Baby Jonah" and can't wait to see him when she gets here.

Aren't her curls divine? I usually get to fix her hair when she gets here. I love it!

Having her here is just enough for my girl fix right now. I get to have a girl and a baby at my house at the same time! How perfect is that?! And, having four kids here feels like just the perfect amount as well.

I was watching the season finale of Glee the other day (yup, I'm a Gleek) and seeing the adoptive mom get her baby made me really think about it again. I'm open to being pregnant again (until I start vomiting, and then I will totally change my mind) but I know there are so many wonderful, sweet kids out there that need a family. I want to be one.

Plus, how else am I going to be sure I get a girl? Really.

We've always felt like we need to be open to adoption, just like we've always felt like a girl is part of our family. So, the two just seem to work. We'll see what happens. Right now I'm just trusting Heavenly Father will let Brandon know the when and where and how. Cause I know it's going to happen somehow or other. Just like everything else He's planned for us. If we're trying, He shows us the way.

Oh, a baby girl. It just sounds too wonderful.

What's for breakfast?

I did a mini-lesson last night at Relief Society for healthy on-the-go snacks. Apparently I'm a little bit of a health nut judging from all the reactions I got, but whatever. I think I've always known I am a little, now I feel a little over the top, but I don't really think I am. I just want my husband to live to a ripe old age.

Aaaaannnnyyway, I made some granola bars because I think the ones you buy at the store have too much sugar and I was trying to come up with something new. They are really yummy! We've been eating them for breakfast because it is pretty much like oatmeal in a bar.

(recipe and pic from allrecipes.com)

Easy Granola Bars

3 cups quick cooking oats

1 (14 ounce) can sweetened condensed milk

2 tablespoons butter, melted

1 cup flaked coconut

1 cup sliced almonds

1 cup miniature semisweet chocolate chips

1/2 cup sweetened dried cranberries

Preheat oven to 350. Grease a 9x13 pan. Mix all the ingredients together with your hands until well blended. (This is sticky!) Press flat into the prepared pan. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes, depending on how crunchy you want them. Lightly browned around the edges will give you the moist, chewy bars. Let cool for 5 minutes, cut into bars (this is crucial - I missed this part and cutting them later was a challenge) and then let cool completely before serving.

Now for the Sarah variations. Use non-fat sweetened condensed milk, omit the chocolate chips and add 1/2 cup dried blueberries. In the comments where I found this recipe, people had tried all kinds of different things. I'm positive you could add whatever sounds yummy. In fact, right now I'm thinking a little cinnamon would be delicious! There was a sister there last night that wondered if you could make it dairy free and we were pretty sure honey could be substituted for the milk.

The votes here are pretty good. There was another sister there last night that said she wasn't expecting to like them but really did. So, there you go. Whip up a batch. It literally takes minutes and is very, very similar to a cookie. Yum!

Proud moment

I was putting Hyrum to bed tonight (for the fifth time) and found he stole my Book of Mormon from my night table to read and sleep with.

It reminded me of when Sterling was about the same age and we got him his first paper-back Book of Mormon. His whole face lit up. He was so excited about it. More excited about getting that than anything before or since. I remember praying that night that he would always have that excitement about the scriptures.

Now that he can read almost independently, I've found him in bed a few nights reading that same Book of Mormon.

Somebody here is getting through to my boys. I'm not sure it's me but I do hope it sticks.

Shh!

Can you keep a secret? I'm on facebook. I swore I'd never do it, but I just have so many friends far and wide that I need another way to be involved in your lives!

I'm really not going to give you my psuedonym, though. If you want to be my friend, leave me a note and I'll find you. You'll figure out who I am, I'm sure.

Love you all!

PS - Check out this link. An old friend of mine just started a photography company and she took our family photos this weekend. http://briannehuwephotography.blogspot.com/ Love them!

Turn about's fair play?

So, I've always been on the moving end of friendships. And, I've always known that I wouldn't be too long in one spot, so it was always inevitable that my friendships would quickly become long distance. (Which is really why I blog.) I've always been prepared for that.

Now I know how everyone has felt. My best friend here is moving. To Idaho. Now what do I do?

Most of you know I have a hard time making friends. I have one or two real friends from everyplace I've been and that's really it. It's actually all I need. I'm perfectly comfortable just having one or two true friends. I don't have the energy for more. And I don't have the patience for flighty friends. So, here I am. And, this friend isn't even in my ward! She's in the southernmost ward in our stake and I'm in the northernmost.

Is it rare to have found a true friend everywhere I've been? I know lots of women who don't seem to have that. I don't know how they do it. It's pretty critical for me. Will I survive this?

Probably. Is it lousy? For sure.