This is so stupid.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Bulls
Isn't a death supposed to be a time when families draw closer together? Aren't we supposed to be spending time remembering my brother? Why is it, then, that the horns have come out and are locked? How can the two sides get even more bull-headed? At this point, I don't really even care if there is any sort of service at all. I don't want to go.
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4 comments:
I'm sorry, Sarah. Hang in there.
We went through the same thing when my Grandma died. Some people in the family were adamant that she NOT have a service in the Mormon church (she is not LDS, but my whole family is, and we were the ones making the arrangements), others were adamant that she SHOULD, while others were neutral. We decided that fine, we would have the funeral at her church (although she hadn't attended it in years...). Then certain family members insisted that my father not be allowed to give her eulogy, which was crap because he was the one who had lived the closest to her all his life, the one who was her primary caretaker through all of her illness and right up to her death. But these certain people in the family didn't want him turning it into a "mormon" funeral by speaking at it. So my Dad didn't even get to speak at his own Mom's funeral, and the remarks that her priest gave were complete crap, and made all of us who knew her so mad. There was just so much bitterness when we were supposed to be pulling together and mourning together, and don't even get me started on all the bickering that went on about her will and who got what, etc. It was just disgusting.
Anyhow, the point is, death brings out the WORST in people. Emotions are high, old rivalrys resurface, and people are less willing to compromise because they are sad/angry/mourning. It's a really hard time for everyone. You just have to close your eyes, but your head down, hunker down and barrel through this storm - it'll be over soon. Try to be the bigger person, even when it sucks to do it. You'll be glad later that you did. I know you'll do the right thing...
By the way, Sundays are a fine time to call, it just depends on when you do it! We get home from church around 1:30 or so, and usually leave for dinner at my mother-in-laws at 4pm. That's the only thing we do that day besides church.
Keep your head up and just stay out of it all!
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